Rearing Monarchs #13:

Family Ethics and Education
Unification Thoughts, May 2022

Welcome back
And thank you for your continued interest in these Unification Thoughts. This article is the 12th in the Raising Monarchs series for the Golden Age News. Its purpose is to offer the perspective of Unification Thought on raising our grandchildren. Our basic premises come from 1) the Realms of True Love—in which Father and Mother Moon explain the five realms of divine love—and 2) the Three Great Kingships—which inspires the title of this series. If you take a look at those two links, you’ll at least understand the perspective of the preceding 11 articles, if not the details.

Where we left off

In January, February and March, we’d been looking at the ethical norms of Godism. And last month, we’d concluded looking at the moral norms in Unification Thought.¹

Where we’re going

This and succeeding articles will explain the expansion of family ethics into the real world beyond a child’s family and the one they might eventually create themselves. As we’ll see, the ethics and morals they learn in their family will affect every important activity that the child will participate in, for the rest of their social life. This means their life as students, their life as workers, their life as leaders, entrepreneurs, their life as teachers or as civil servants, if they choose to go those ways.

But before I get into all that, I need to remind you of something that we’d brought up in previous articles. There, we’d pointed this out from an earlier Unification Thought textbook²:

“The education of… standards of conduct starts at home, practically as soon as a child is born. A child must be taught certain manners and customs, first at home, then both at home and in school. When (people fully understand and practice their) principled duty…the education of norm has been completed.”

• Explaining Unification Thought, p. 225

Training in manners, customs and family duties is the necessary groundwork for a young child to eventually understand the ethics and morals that underlie these behaviors. It’s that later, deeper understanding that will enlighten the way they approach people and life in their adult years. Take for example this description of caring behavior that a child should receive, as well as respectful behavior that a child should practice:

“Each type of love needs a different form of expression. Parents need to use warmhearted words to their children, even when scolding them… On the other hand, children should be polite and respectful to their parents…. There are different positions at the table. A child should not sit at the head of the table and say, ‘Hey Father, look sharp and sit down!’ because he would be reversing the father–child position. It is important that children respect their parents and use suitable words and actions to show their respect. Husband and wife, also, must follow a certain standard of conduct in their mutual relationship.”

• Explaining Unification Thought, p. 233

So though we might come from different cultures, if we look back just a generation or two, we can hopefully find deeply held standards of conduct for relating properly to our family members. With that in mind, we can begin looking into how family ethics would apply in a child’s adult life.

The Scope of Ethics

Unification Thought explains that social ethics are an extension of family ethics. That is actually the title of the relevant subsection in the Ethics chapter of Unification Thought. This is how it begins:

“From the perspective of Unification Thought, human relationships in the wider society are simply an extension of the relationships carried out among family members at home. For example, in relationships where people’s ages differ by thirty years or so, the senior individual should love the younger person as their child, and the younger individual should respect the senior individual as their parent. If the difference in age is ten years or less, the elder person should love the younger person as a younger brother or sister, and the younger person should respect the elder person as an elder brother or sister. From this viewpoint, family ethics is the basis of all ethics. If family ethics is applied to society, it becomes social ethics; if applied to corporations, it becomes corporate ethics; if applied to the state, it becomes state ethics.”

• New Essentials of Unification Thought, p. 285

That guidance about relationship between people of certain ages is pretty specific and would probably adjust a lot of relationships around the world if we implemented it. It’s so specific that, like much of Unification Thought, it probably comes from something Father Moon said and that was recorded somewhere in the 700 books in Hangul that are archived in Korea.³

At this point, I will continue by drawing from the 40 page Appendix of the latest Unification Thought textbook, entitled New Essentials of Unification Thought, which became available in English in 2006. The exact section is the one entitled The Three Great Subjects Thought⁴ and we include it here to help us understand more deeply the core ideas of family ethics. Following the sequence in the textbook, we can start with the core idea of ownership:

“In a family, all property such as the house, the garden, the yard, …and so on belongs to the parents, and at the same time to the children. In the original world… children always have a heart of gratitude towards their parents and take good care of the family property. In the basic form of the family the three generations… live together. Therefore, joint ownership is, strictly speaking, joint ownership of the three generations… since the grandparents are in the position representing God, the joint ownership of the three generations can be expressed as the joint ownership of God, who is the subject of true love, parents, and children.”

• New Essentials of Unification Thought, p. 509

We can see here the essential idea of the shared ownership of property—which includes God—and therefore the shared responsibility for it. Try to image a home in which the entire family has respect, gratitude, and care for its property, all with an awareness of God’s benevolent and loving presence!

But along with the purpose for others, there’s the purpose of the individual. So this sharing doesn’t exclude the vital place of personal ownership:

“Private possession is necessary to accomplish the purpose for the individual, and at the same time, it is necessary to accomplish the purpose for the whole…. For example, in order to please parents, an elder brother reads many books, which are his possessions and gets good grades at school; a younger brother paints a beautiful picture using (his) painting instruments… and gets a special prize at an art exhibition; an elder sister plays (her) violin… and receives the highest praise from the audience… In these cases, they fulfill the purpose for the whole through their personal possessions. …Thus, human beings are endowed with desire, love, and freedom in order to love others… investing their unique individualities and personal possessions. …to what extent is personal possession reasonable? …an original person will easily understand the quantity, quality, and kinds of his or her necessary personal possessions… if our conscience is pure, God will show us …the psychological amount appropriate for our personal possessions.” • New Essentials of Unification Thought., p. 511

There’s a lot being said here, so I don’t want to embellish what’s already been expressed so carefully. I’ll only say that it really can help a child sincerely check the motivation they have for the things they desire. Especially when they’re inundated by the seductive marketing of innumerable “cool” things to buy. Unification Thought helps clarify that there’s clearly a right and a wrong motivation for desiring something valuable. One is selfish and the other is generous. The former is superficial and can lead quickly to disappointment and wanting the next “cooler” thing; the latter is broader and can lead to the deeply rewarding experience of giving joy to others.

And so we are reminded of the important role of parents and grandparents to educate the thought and the heart of the child:

“The role of parents is to bring up their children. The Korean term for raising children is yangyuk… which consists of two Chinese characters, yang and yuk. Yang means to raise children by giving them food, clothing, and shelter… Yuk means to educate: parents teach their children family law, manners, ethics, morality, and any necessary knowledge, with a deep and warm heart.”

• New Essentials of Unification Thought, p. 526

This is actually pretty similar to the meaning of the English word “educate”.⁵ But either way, the main point is that parents and grandparents have the critical opportunity and responsibility of cultivating the heart and soul of their child.

Educational Ethics

Earlier in this article (the 3^rd quote), the Unification Thought chapter on Ethics explains that family ethics are expanded to apply to ethics in society, in commerce and in government. But in the Appendix, in the aforementioned Three Great Subjects Thought section, another critical area is indicated: “The three great subjects refer to parents, teacher, and leader.” (New Essentials of Unification Thought, p. 524). That sentence indicates the extension of family ethics into the area of education. And sure enough, Unification Thought goes on to explain:

“…although parents, teacher, and leader are different roles, nevertheless, parents should be at the same time a teacher and a leader. In other words, parents practice true love through the roles of the three subjects: While parents are primarily fulfilling their role as parents to love their children with a warm heart, they also carry out the roles of teacher and leader.”

• New Essentials of Unification Thought, p. 528

Clearly, our adult children with their own children, and we ourselves as grandparents (either currently or one day, sooner or later) are responsible to participate actively in teaching the children the individual morality and the family ethics of Godism. And with what kind of heart should we parents and grandparents approach this responsibility? Seeing the youngest ones “as God sees them” and guiding them with that heart. And so this quote spoke to me and inspired me in my teaching life:

“The role of a teacher is to teach his or her students through the education of knowledge, technical education, artistic education, physical education, and so on… If students raise questions, the teacher should answer sincerely, and if they have any difficult problems, the teacher should help them as much as possible. In this way, a teacher can practice God’s true love. …Teaching should aim at the cultivation of the personality of students so that they will be empowered to serve society… In order to do this, the teacher…should first of all have a noble personality and a spirit of serving others.”

• New Essentials of Unification Thought, p. 527

And in the words of Father and Mother Moon, from which Unification Thought is drawn, the idea continues:

“When the teacher and pupils become acquainted in the classroom, this is only the beginning point of their relationship. A teacher should never forget his or her pupils. …true teachers are those who connect all their knowledge with love.…who, out of love, cannot help but teach your pupils, …even while grappling with the hardships of daily life. …realize a relationship of teacher and disciple, in which you convey all your knowledge with love, whether by day or by night, while your disciples’ desire to learn exceeds even your desire to teach. Such a teacher is a true teacher, and such disciples are true disciples.” (127-017, 1983/05/01)

• Chambumo Gyeong, Book 9, Chap.3, §1

These words became more real to me throught my experience with the martial art of Wonhwa Dō (Tongil Moo Dō since 1988) under its head instructor Mr. Kensaku Takahashi. And before that, I’d met its creator Dr. Joon Ho Seuk when he was vice-president of the Seminary. (I’d mentioned that in the ninth article of this series.) I had other pivotal teacher–student experiences there and they’re important enough to mention.

Observing my devotion to Unification Thought, Dr. Seuk introduced me to Dr. Sang Hun Lee. One unforgettable experience that I had with Dr. Lee was at an ICUS in Washington, DC, where Father Moon had created a new committee on Unification Thought to introduce it to the scholars in attendance. At the end of each session, Dr. Lee would take questions until the session ended. One evening, as that time approached but questions remained, Dr. Lee asked the professors to write them down and he promised they’d be answered. After the session, Dr. Lee asked me to come to his room after dinner and closing. There, I read him the questions and he dictated the answers for me write down. He explained that …when you answer people’s questions, you give them love. I realized that he was passing on his own experience with Father Moon, when all his questions were patiently answered as they worked on drafting Unification Thought…. At the start of the next day’s session, Dr. Lee had me read every single answer before he resumed his lecture. I could see and feel the heart of a true teacher.

Also in the Seminary, I could study with Dr. Young on Kim. She was the very first missionary whom Father and Mother Moon sent to America. She loved Jesus, Christianity and the voice of God in all faiths, even before she met the movement. In her courses at UTS, we learned how to attend people of other faiths with understanding and genuine appreciation. One of the earliest American members shared an extraordinary experience with her: In the small center in Oregon, the few members living there received a call that Dr. Kim would be visiting them. They asked what airport she’d be arriving at so they could pick her up. She said not to bother, that she only needed their address. A few afternoons later, she arrived at their door via taxi and (besides her suitcase) she had a few brown paper bags with her. She went into their kitchen and cooked them Korean dinner! Afterwards, they fellowshipped and studied into the night. And the next morning, she took another taxi to the airport. To this day, this stays with me as one of the most inspiring examples of true teacher–student relationship.

Also at UTS, we could be under the wing of its president David S.C. Kim. He had been sent to America just after Dr. Young Oon Kim and served the rest of his life here. At UTS he engaged actively with all the students; he wasn’t a desk-bound administrator and he recommended me to Father Moon at my matching. I graduated in 1982, but until he passed away decades later, my children, my wife and I would unfailingly receive cards on our birthdays with little gifts enclosed. Pres. Kim asked us to call him Grandpa Kim; he was a living example of always keeping your students in your heart.

Those special few teachers made deep, permanent impressions on my life. I began to understand why, when I studied the Theory of Education. There, I realized that they modeled the family ethics that we’d examined in a previous article. Through such ethics, they embodied Benevolence and all its associated virtues in their relationships with their students.

The next areas that family ethics impact are commerce and government. Unification Thought states:

“…family ethics is the basis of all ethics. If family ethics is applied to society, it becomes social ethics; if applied to corporations, it becomes corporate ethics; if applied to the state, it becomes state ethics.”

• New Essential of Unification Thought, p. 285

We’ll save that for next time; what we have here is quite a lot to reflect on and work with.

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